Tuesday, January 26, 2016

The Consequences Voice - 0:28

I could see it in his eyes.

Toddlers can just get that aggressive Look, the sort of Look that tells a mom everything she needs to know about the situation. That sort of I-have-a-bike-pump-and-my-baby-brother-is-in-range Look.

Yes, bike pump. Just don't ask. Or, if you have to ask, ask yourself what two-year-old wouldn't want to play with a bike pump, one of those standing kinds that's basically taller than a two-year-old when stretched to its full potential? And then ask yourself where would you hide a standing bike pump in a tiny two-bedroom basement floor condo?

This toddler didn't know his mother was watching from the kitchen sink. (Too many times have I been grateful for our “eat-in kitchen” and “open floor plan”; the space-saving architecture of our condo proves quite useful in mitigating toddler conflicts.)

Bike pump brandished high, he trotted across the floor toward his baby brother's bald and unsuspecting head, just to see what would happen if...

I wouldn't get there in time. I pulled out my best Voice, the sort of Voice that promises consequences. The sort of You-don't-really-want-to-find-out-what-happens Voice.

“MAAAAA-THEW...” I warned.

He stopped, looked up at me in surprise. Then started singing along. “Maaa-thew Mark Luke and John...”

Lessons learned:
1) my Consequences Voice sounds a lot like singing
2) a laughing Mom is not a threatening Mom
3) the Word of the Lord is powerful

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